I have a confession. Ava has never slept in her crib. In my defense, I have a series of excuses. She was in a bassinet in our room until she was 3 ½ months old. At that point we were in the midst of winter and it is frigid in her room. Just ask her Aunt Megan who had to sleep in there in December. Burr! So Ava’s been sleeping in a borrowed Pack and Play next to our bed. Now that the nights are warming up I’d like to transition her into the crib. I’ve also heard that separation anxiety sets in late in a baby’s first year and I want to do this soon so as to not make it more difficult for all parties. In all honesty I’d like to leave her in our room forever but Mike tells me that might be “weird” when she’s thirteen.So tonight I was feeling gutsy and decided to try the crib. It didn’t go well. Part of the problem is that she falls asleep nursing. We don’t have a rocker or any other nursing-appropriate piece of furniture in her room so I feed her laying down on our bed. Then I quickly transition her to the P&P and we all go happily to sleep. The walk down the hall to her room roused her out of her sleep. When I put her in her crib she wailed. When I picked her up she fell immediately asleep in my arms. I moved her into a horizontal position, she wailed. It was kind of funny actually. I would slowly lower her, her mouth would form an “O” and her little brows would furrow. I’d lift her up and she would be peacefully asleep.
Of course, the motherly guilt enters into the picture here. I know I’m supposed to let her “cry it out” but I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m away from her all day, how can I deny her the opportunity to snuggle with her mommy? It just breaks my heart. So after about 2 hours of trying to get her into her crib and giving up that and trying to get her into the P&P (at this point she was so upset that even that wasn’t working) she ended up asleep on our bed and Mike on the couch. This isn’t a good long-term solution, obviously. I feel like we took two steps back tonight. She’s pooped. I finally gave up and let her sleep on the bed after 10:00 when she normally is peacefully in the P&P at 8:00.
6 comments:
Erin, there's no need to feel bad about this. When you're ready to have her in the other room, you'll make it happen. Can you put her crib in your room as a temporary solution? Maybe she'll get used to sleeping in the crib with you nearby first, which would make the transition less stressful. Who knows? I'm just guessing here. But hey, if you don't want to make her cry it out, why should you?
I learned in my developmental psych class that leaving her to cry it out can cause her to develop an anxious temperament later on, so I think you're doing the right thing! You don't wanna mess with perfection anyway :-)
Don't know if we've recommended this to you or not, but "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" might be a useful book to consult here. We found it pretty helpfuly, and some of our friends absolutely swear by it. Either way, I think it'll give you good ideas for helping Ava sleep on her own in her own room.
Sleep update: I just let Ava do some crying! I just read your comment Emily, so hopefully I haven't scarred Ava too much. She has a bit of anxious temperament in her genes already so she's really screwed. Anywoo, she went to bed as normal, after nursing, on the bed. I hadn't yet decided what I would do when I had to move her off the bed. Would I try the crib in her room? Or the p&p in our room as normal? Well, I didn't need to make the choice. When I was in the room putting away some laundry quietly she woke up, and started screaming! She wasn't hungry, wet, cold, or hot. Mike did a quick teething check. Negative. So I lowered her into the p&p and walked out of the room. About 3 minutes later she was out. The crying slowed, the thumb was inserted, calm ensued. I'll tackle the crib issue another day. For now, I'm just happy she hasn't lost hours of sleep like she did last night!
Eh, by the time she's thirteen, she'll probably ask for a bed of her own!
In the meantime, I saw a really nice glider-style rocker set on craigslist for $40. They're on there all the time (probably because people buy them for nursing their babies, then don't need them anymore after hte kids turn thirteen).
I think as long as she's not crying for an hour, you haven't scarred her. But I'm not an expert
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